Please remove your shoes.
As you may have surmised, this website is — as of April 2012 — all new and shiny. I've had the decorators in and they've been busy giving the place a fresh lick of paint. I also ensured that the carpets were steam cleaned — I never really managed to get the stains out following that unfortunate incident with the goat — so it would be greatly appreciated if you could kindly remove your shoes before entering what can only be described as the greatest website in the world *.
Ta muchly.
Keith
* - Terms and conditions may apply. Your web browsing habits are at risk if you do not keep up with your monthly mortgage repayments. The popularity of websites can go down as well as up. Do not continue to view this website if you experience excitations lasting longer than four hours. This website may contain small parts and as such must be identified as a 'choking hazard'. For compliance with Belgium laws, this website must be labeled as 'mildly erotic'. Please note that this website was made in a facility that handles nuts and may therefore cause an allergic response. All screenshots simulated. Any resemblance to badly maintained websites, living or dead, is purely coincidental.