45 Things You May Not Know About Keith Bradnam

On the occasion of my 45th birthday I thought it was time for a listicle to end all listicles:

1. I have run more this year than in any other year of my life (123.3 miles so far).
2. I don't own any jeans and haven't worn jeans for about 20 years.
3. I have written two albums as part of the RPM music challenge — written and recorded entirely within the month of February).
4. I have written one novel as part of National Novel Writing Month (NanoWriMo) — written entirely within the month of November.
5. When I was about 13, I once called a teacher a Nazi over the school PA system. It was intended as a joke. Nobody found it funny.
6. My left arm is slightly longer than my right one and fingers on my left hand are notably longer than those on the right hand.
7. When it comes to shaving or brushing my teeth, I am ambidextrous.
8. I have cried at the ending of Cool Runnings (Disney Jamaican bobsleigh movie).
9. I have cried watching Neighbours.
10. Until I was about 16 I thought that approximately meant 'exactly' (this caused much confusion in maths lessons).
11. I have watched — in chronological order — every episode of M*A*S*H, every episode of Seinfeld, and every episode of every Star Trek series.
12. At age 15 I came very close to applying to join the Royal Air Force as an electrical engineer.
13. I have logged my weight in a spreadsheet nearly every day since July 2009.
14. My iTunes library contains 12,816 tracks and I have rated 12,795 of them.
15. The first band that I ever paid to see was Doctor and the Medics.
16. At university I frequently dyed my hair: 'Paprika' & 'Copper Mahogany' were popular colours.
17. To check whether my son is paying attention, I frequently insert the word 'sausages' into random places when reading bedtime stories.
18. I manage 11 different Twitter accounts (most, but not all, are active).
19. I once spent an entire year giving up a different thing each month (alcohol, meat, TV, credit cards, etc.)
20. I am fairly uncomfortable about the idea of fancy dress parties.
21. I'm confident that I know more lyrics to Come on Eileen than 99.9% of the UK population.
22. My superhero power — such that it is — is being able to identify songs only by hearing faint, and muffled, bass lines that penetrate the walls from neighbouring buildings.
23. I (almost) never swear.
24. My first paid job was washing dishes at around the age of 13.
25. I still feel awkward at almost all social gatherings.
26. At university I won an award for 'worst dressed person' from my hall of residence.
27. One of my least favourite things in the world is to attempt any form of DIY or home repairs. This is the easiest way to see the 'dark side' of my personality.
28. I started using spreadsheets for fun in 1990.
29. I once was mistakenly beaten up for 'being gay' outside a toilet in Cambridge.
30. I invented the concept of a Mexican Tweet-off — one of the world's least successful attempts at making something go viral on Twitter (three people stand in a triangle, take a picture of each other at exactly the same time and race to be the first to have their picture appear on Twitter.)
31. I once had a video that I made feature on the YouTube home page.
32. I once wrote to Coca-Cola to protest at their — geographically incorrect — depiction of a polar bear and penguin within the same winter-based scene.
33. Awkward attempts at humour: I once used to frequent an online chatroom community using a user name of 'TheManWhoSaysNo' — the only response I would give to any conversation was 'No'.
34. The first piece of recorded music that I purchased was Snot Rap by Kenny Everett (as Sid Snot). In my defence, I was only 12 at the time.
35. I find the concept of 'Terms and conditions may apply' incredibly funny and frequently make reference to this in various forms of written content. I find it funny because it can just be used to hide any amount of bad news or unwanted side effects: 'Inappropriate use of this product may cause rashes, swellings, or premature death'.
36. I have an encyclopaedic — and entirely useless — knowledge of jingles and catchphrases from 70s and 80s TV advertisements (We hope it's chips, Make room for the mushrooms, Meat not mince).
37. I mostly choose to not play computer games as I easily become incredibly addicted to them.
38. In the early 1990s I (needlessly) starting making a card-based index of records and songs by Gladys Knight and the Pips.
39. There is one film that I have seen at the cinema which I enjoyed so much that I went and watched it again the following day. That film was The Usual Suspects.
40. Of all form of arts and entertainment, I hold Radio 4's The Archers in the highest regard.
41. While I am proud to have co-authored a book — about Unix and the programming language Perl — I am even prouder to have worked jokes into the index.
42. I have once performed stand-up comedy at a Science Showoff event (my routine was titled The Seasonality of Death).
43. This is Spinal Tap is probably all-time favourite movie.
44. Who's Next by The Who remains my all-time favourite album.
45. I still feel that I'm waiting to work out what I want to do when I grow up.